You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
