but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
