Duck Duck Cougar?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
