Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
