But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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