I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
