she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
this will be a night to untag.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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