Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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