D3 body, D1 cock
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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