Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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