Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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