I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
