dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
