Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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