I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
