One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The adults are the big ones right?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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