i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
