I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I got her a Nickelback box set.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize