I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
