i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
