How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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