When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
