I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
