remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
