stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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