i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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