there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
