If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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