i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
