It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
