OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
