Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
bring money and cleavage
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
