Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
