I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
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