jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
