Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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