I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
