You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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