Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It's never too late to be topless.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
