she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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