Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
