you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Someone came in the potted fern
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
