Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize