Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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