period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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