He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
