"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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