does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
