He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
