just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
