Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
