I hate your face
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
