he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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