dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
