you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize