I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
