he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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