Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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