and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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