His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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