shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
